FUNNY BONES preview

book preview of FUNNY BONES


 


PAPERBACK
BOOKS

FUNNY BONES


“Oh
yeah!” …
 

One
of those moments in life when things suddenly click and 
everything makes perfect sense – or nonsense! 

This
book is a humorous and perceptive look at everyday life as a human being.
 

Rebecca,
with her wit and extraordinary insight, trains the 
microscope on all our foibles, idiosyncrasies and eccentricities with
hilarious results. 

No
quirky stone is left unturned, no shortcoming left 
un-probed – our everyday activities are examined and we are all seen 
entertainingly for what we really are… human! 

Guaranteed
to bring a smile to your dial,
Funny
Bones

is just what the doctor ordered!
  

“Our
obsession with newness is not a new one, and people will continue to love new
things, until, perhaps a new, better  obsession
comes along. 

“Here
are a few food-related questions for you also to have a think about. Why do we
eat lamb, but we don’t eat sheep? Why do we eat pork, but we don’t eat pig
or piglet? Why do we eat beef, but we don’t eat cow or calf? And how come we
eat chicken, but we don’t eat rooster or hen?
 

“The
naming structure of our meats is so strange. Why is it like that? I will leave
that for you to stew on, or if you like, chew the fat over.”
 

In Store Price: $26.00 

Online Price:   $25.00

ISBN:1-9212-4004-0



Format: A5 Paperback

Number of pages:
255


Genre: Fiction

 

Author:
Rebecca Malins

Imprint: Poseidon

Publisher: Poseidon Books
Date Published:  2006

Language: English

HOME PAGE

Acknowledgements

 

The
creation of a book takes time, effort, perseverance, passion and much support.
(Oh, and for many an author – much coffee!!!) I have been lucky throughout the
whole process to have support from my loved ones and actually everyone around me
that knew I was writing a book.

 

I
firstly want to thank my family because you are all at the core of my creation.
You all stood by me, no matter what I was going through. You all helped me just
by being there and loving me. I love you all with all my heart.            

Mum
you always helped me through my emotional times with your love and
understanding. I thank you. You helped me financially, (Thanks Dad and Trisha),
and with endless hours of reading my stories and editing them (everyone),
writing the bio (thanks Bri, you always stand by me and with your love, help me
through any challenge with your special ways), helping me organize my book into
chapters, (thanks Trisha, with your patience, and expertise), not to mention all
the ideas you all gave me for writing my book. I am so lucky to have such a
great family around me. My sisters always made me laugh growing up and helped
keep humour alive in me, not to mention the quick wit of my father, who gave me
also an unrelenting drive to succeed and who loves me through any emotional
storm.

 

Mum’s
dog, Tilly, has always been great value when I needed to go for a walk between
writing chapters. All I had to do was say the ‘W’ word and her tail would
start wagging.

 

Richard,
my special one in this world, my best friend. In such a short time he has made
me a better person with his patience and love. I thank you. I want to thank all
the Forestieri family for all your love and kindness, Andrew and Julie for your
publishing advice. (Maria, I love all your yummy food), and all the
Calcagno
family.

 

Along
the way there have been many who have given me ideas and helped me by giving me
their support and allowing me my quiet time, so I can write to make this happen.
All those who motivated me to publish, again my family, Alexis Meza (also for
your editing training), Adil for promising me many a lolly if I got up at 5.30am
every morning to write. Yussif, what an inspiration you were for me, every day
in Morocco that I wrote, a little boy of four-years old, with the most fiery
spirit. His energy lifted me each day. I want to thank Seinfield for his
inspiration, Monica Zaker, Darren, Diana Sanchez, Michael, Jenny Liss for being
great friends and motivating me.

 

Thank
you Southern Cross Hotel for giving me the perfect hours to fit in my writing
time. That is something writers are eternally grateful for. I want to thank
Leslie Anne Baker, Mrs Stanish and all from my creative writing class in Bondi.
Pedro Zumbana for helping me and being my strength through a lot of the tough
times, I couldn’t have done it without you, and to Jessica and Ramon for your
all your laughter and support.

 

There
are many more I want to acknowledge but I have run out of space so I thank you
too. And to everyone who reads my book I thank you with my whole heart. Each and
every one of you helped my dream come true, for that I am eternally grateful.

 

 

 

 

About
the Author

 

Rebecca
was born in Sydney
in 1977. From an early age those around her recognised a creative mind,
bubbling with enthusiasm for life. As an infant she revelled in the joy of dance
and was a natural performer at home and in public.

 

Rebecca’s
love of both poetry and prose is obvious to all who have the good fortune to
meet her. This, together with an ability to observe and reflect upon on the
goings-on of the world around her, has enabled Rebecca to write commentaries
that are insightful, or witty, or off-beat (and sometimes all three) for many
years.

 

Rebecca
has travelled extensively and has visited
Japan
several times. Her interest in the language and culture of Japan
began at high school. Later she took a degree in Asian Studies, specialising in
Public Relations and Journalism, and completing the final year of the course at Keizai University in
Tokyo
. Her trip to
Morocco

where she travelled and lived, and her visit to
Egypt
, gave her a lot of life experience and writing ideas too.

 

More
recently Rebecca has combined her love of writing with a passion for Salsa
dancing and the Latin community by writing many articles for the
Sydney
based dance magazine VIVA!

 

Rebecca
currently lives in North Queensland . However, wherever the wind blows her, she will always fill those she meets
with intrigue and delight.

 

Brian
Murray

Introduction: Part
1

 

This
is a book of “Oh yeahs,” that I collected throughout my day-to-day living.
When I say, “Oh yeahs,” I mean those moments in life when things suddenly
click. This is a book of all those little snippets in society you may not even
notice. I mean those little things that happen to us all the time, and because
they become so much a part of human behaviour, you no longer pay attention to
them anymore.

           
I feel it is time to wake up humanity to the funny side of the things we
do. That is where the, “Oh yeah,” moments are going to come in, because I
hope to awaken your awareness to our behaviour, making you, yourselves, say,
“Oh yeah.”

           
If I get even just one of you to say this little catch phrase to
yourselves, then I feel I have succeeded. I have indeed, then awoken you from
your slumber. I hope it was a good sleep, but welcome back to Earth.

           
A lot of things we do in society are just so laughable, and that is the
problem. I feel everything in life is taken too seriously these days. It is time
to take off those frowns and grouchy faces for a moment and laugh at life. You
get more out of life that way.

           
What I find incredible is the vast amount of amusement there is in all
aspects of humanity, every single day. It is staring at you right in the face,
waiting for you to notice its humorous side.

 

Maybe
you all just need the, “I never thought of that,” thought process to show
you what, we as a collective just couldn’t see. My goal is to show you these
aspects of society, and allow you to see it as it is, for your own amusement.

           
Let’s take a journey down the street of humanity together, as it is our
own street after all. I want to show you our sometimes-ridiculous behaviour, and
the things we do and I want to show you that hidden under the serious veneer is
another world.

           
Taking a look at things from another angle is what made me title this
book, Funny Bones. The reason is
because I have always liked this bone. It is the only bone in the human body
that allows us to laugh. It is that one bone that wakes us up to our stupidity,
which is the stupidity of taking ourselves too seriously.

           
This, of course is the whole point of this book. The funny bone is
nature’s way of showing us that there is more to life than stress, sickness
and unhappiness. So smile and remember, “Oh yeah” when you read what follows
because we really are a funny bunch.

 

 

 

 

Introduction:
Part 2

 

I
know it is not common for a book to have two parts to an introduction, but for
me, it seemed like the best thing to do. I guess I want to introduce you
properly before you begin the journey. We can’t not have you firmly acquainted
with our subject can we? I have a few words to say about children and insects
that relates to this study. Let’s take a look before we go on, and then I
think you will be ready.

           
Have you ever watched a child play with an insect? They are so fascinated
by them. They become so mesmerized that they always want to get a closer look.
They see insects and straight away, out comes the butterfly net, the magnifying
glass and the insect catcher book, salt to tip onto slugs, the plastic
containers, and many other bits and pieces. All these things are used in the
hope to catch one of these little critters. They say curiosity kills the cat,
but in this case, curiosity kills the insects.

           
Children are drawn to insects, like moths to light. They will always pull
off wings, make lizards lose their tails as well as collect bugs and squash
centipedes.

           
What is it about the insects that kids find so interesting? Is it the
fact that they are different from us? Maybe they like insects because they are
smaller than the child; therefore they can be easily caught. Maybe it is just
the fact that these little creatures move, and some make noise that makes them
so appealing.

           
It must be the act of ripping off innocent butterfly wings, or stampeding
through an ant’s nest that makes insects fun.

           
Whatever it is about insects, you cannot change children’s desire to
learn about them. In the name of fun, this book is going to look at humans in
the same way as children look at insects. That doesn’t mean I will shine a
bright light on you or bring out a huge catching net. Instead, I will do the
conservative form of child’s play, which is simply to watch. Just as a child
has a fascination with a bug, I have the same curiosity with humans.

           
Now it is time for me to get out my magnifying glass and bag of tricks
and go and see what fellow humans are doing. I am sure I have a lot to learn and
I am going to take you along with me for the ride of your life. So it is now
time you leave your left-brain behind and lock into your imagination. You are
now going to see yourselves in a new light.

           
If you think about it, there are some similarities between humans and
insects on a basic level. They both are living to survive, and they both have
needs and wants. They both have their own way of doing things. They also both
have complex physical structures, as well as complex mating rituals and habitual
movements. It is for these reasons that I decided to conduct my own insect
study, but on humans. I have to say it though; this would have to be even more
fun than looking at insects, because humans are such complex creatures.

           
So now, sit back, relax and soak in the stories of this monstrous bug
that walks the Earth. I guess you could say then that the Earth is the container
with holes punched in the top.


 

Amazing
Facts About Humans

 

The
amazing fact is that humans do amazing things. When you look at humans you start
to see there is a lot to learn from them. All the time they provide us with
information that can be used in our own lives. A lot of the time humans are
teaching each other, sometimes even without realizing it.

           
As you go through life you pick up things that add value to yourself,
your life and your future. Learning is a bit like hide and seek. The knowledge
is there, but it must be searched for and found. When it is found it is yours to
keep and use, but always keep in mind that knowledge is useless unless you use
it.

           
Learning reminds me of collecting shells on the beach. You pick up the
shells and you put them in your pocket, each a different colour, texture and
shape. Each one symbolizes a lesson to be learnt from every different life
experience.

           
The beach is the symbol of the life journey. You walk along the stretch
of beach picking up the shells as you go, later to make a necklace out of them.
The walking is the symbol of your own path, and the necklace is the collection
of your life experiences to be used in later life. All the shells on the string
are each separate pieces of information hanging together, each from its own
individual experience.

           
The world is full of amazing facts. Actually, every time you talk to
someone they have something they can teach you. That is every person you meet.
Everyone is equipped with his or her own experience, knowledge and values. The
whole point is just to listen and watch. The more carefully you do, the more you
will absorb and learn about that person and about life.

           
The power of action is a strong thing. Sometimes when you have an idea to
do something with the knowledge that you gained, you have to just go ahead and
do it. Too much life is wasted in procrastination. Soak in all that knowledge
that surrounds you everyday and use it. Maybe you can even help someone with
what you know. It is your gift to share with others.

           
We all have our own gifts of knowledge, but in different ways and on
different things. Find your own way to give knowledge to others and remember,
the truth always reveals itself.

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